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His First Case 




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George Albert Drovin 



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^ His First Cd^se ^ 



A FARCE IN ONE ACT 



By George Albert Drovin 

Author of "In Hades," etc. 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

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THE LISkARY .«F 

CONGRESS, 
Two Copies Recesved 

^^y. 8 1902 

C0PVRI«HT ENTRY 

CLASS 0/5 xXc. No. 
COPY B. 



Copyright 1902 by The Penn Publishing Company 



^^ 






CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Burton Coke A Young Lawyer 

Dorothy Ring An Heiress 



COSTUMES 
Burton Coke, neat business suit. 

Dorothy Ring, attired to suit the various characters she 
represents. 

Time in Representation, thirty minutes. 



Special Notice. — The acting rights of " His First Case " are re- 
served by the Author, from whom permission to present the play must 
be secured. This notice applies only to professional performers. 



His First Case 



SCENE. — Law ofice of Burton Coke. Door in back, 
left of centre. Windows, R. and l. Desk, r., with 
office chair. Chair l. Typewriter on stand, r. of 
door. Coke discovered sitting in chairs., with feet 
on desk, reading a newspaper and srnoking a pipe. 
After studiously exatnining the paper for a while, he 
puts it down, and continues smoking, thoughtfully. 

Coke. If the length of time a lawyer waits for his first 
case is any indication of his greatness, I ought to be famous, 
unless I starve to death in the interval. (^Thoughtfully.) 
I am not a fool ; I can reason clearly ; and I know the law. 
Besides, I have the incentive of ambition to do my work 
well. Yet the public lack confidence in me. They object 
to my youth, as if youth were a crime. Well, that is a 
thing I will recover from, if I live long enough ; but the 
immediate prospects of a recovery are very slight. I am 
likely to die before the cure is effected. (^Rising ajid pacing 
up and down.) Oh, if I had just one big case I would 
show them what I could do ! All I need is just a foothold 
on the ladder of fame, and I shall soon rise to the top, 
where riches and other pleasant things are to be found. 
Perhaps I shall find Miss Ring — Dorothy — at the top. 
Who knows? Now, isn't it annoying to love a girl to dis- 
traction and not to be able to tell her so, just because you 
are poor? Love is all very well in its way, but it is likely 
to be very much in the way when a fellow has no money. 
I Knocking heard at the door.) Hello ! Who's that, I 
wonder? Come in I 

{Enter Dorothy, disguised as a />ook-ai^ent.) 

Dorothy. I beg pardon ; is Mr. Coke in ^ 
Coke. I am Mr. Coke. What can I do for you ? 

5 



5 HIS FIRST CASE 

Dorothy. You can do a great deal for me, if you will. 
Indeed, I am sure you are just the man I want. 

Coke. I do not think that you will have cause to regret 
your choice. Will you be seated? 

(She sits in chair, which he brings over to the desk from l. 
He sits at the desk.) 

Dorothy. Thank you. 

Coke. Now, just state your case as directly as possible. 

Dorothy. Well, you see, I am a poor girl and my 
landlord is a grasping fellow, who wants his rent promptly 
on the day it is due. 

Coke. Ah, yes ! 

Dorothy. I have no father ; and my mother is ill, so I 
must support her. 

Coke. Too bad ! 

Dorothy. Therefore, I have taken to selling this book. 
{Opejis satchel, and takes out volume. Coke manifestly 
disappointed.') It is called ** Asylums I Have Inhabited," 
by E. P. Liptic. 

Coke. Never heard of Liptic; who is he? 

Dorothy. Oh, he's an authority on mental disorders 1 

Coke. But, really, I have no possible use for such a look. 

Dorothy. It is very cheap, I am sure. It costs only a 
dollar down and a dollar every month for four months; 
and the book is yours right away. 

Coke. But I am not interested in asylums. 

Dorothy. No; but )'ou might be. 

Coke {aside; ruefully). That's very true. 

Dorothy. Beg pardon ? 

Coke. I did not say anything. 

Dorothy. Oh, I thought you did. 

Coke. No. 

Dorothy. No? I thought maybe you said that you 
would buy it. 

Coke. But I don't want it. I have my professional 

books to buy, and they cost like h {catching himself, 

just in time) — hot-cakes. 

Dorothy. They ought to be cheap, then. 

Coke. Well, this sort of hot -cakes is not. It is the 
very expensive kind. Look at this woik, now {takino; vol- 
umes from top of desk) ; I bought that at second hand and 
it cost me nine dollars. 



HIS FIRST CASE 'J 

Dorothy. Nine dollars ! What wasteful extravagance ! 
You should not have done it. Now, had you bought my 
book, you would have saved money, besides owning a per- 
fectly new copy. You see, it costs but five dollars — one 
dollar down, and one dollar a month. 

Coke. But the work I have is useful to me in my pro- 
fession ; yours is not. 

Dorothy. How do you know ? You might have a 
client in an asylum, some day ; and he might be in one of 
the asylums spoken of in this work ; and the keepers might 
not treat him well ; and you might be able to get your in- 
side information from this book. {With conviction.) Oh, 
you can't tell ; you can't tell ! ( IVith energy.) And think 
how cheap it is ! 

Coke. I am afraid the possibility is too remote. I can- 
not take it. 

Dorothy {tearfully). And I had counted on getting 
your order ! 

Coke {rising). I am sorry; but you made a miscalcu- 
lation. 

Dorothy {weeping). I have not taken an order to-day; 
and I did so want to tell mother that I had made some 
money I 

Coke {disconcerted). Don't cry. There, there; for 
heaven's sake, don't cry so ! 

Dorothy {sobbing). But — I — c — can't help — help it ! 

Coke {opening his pocketbook and taking out bill). 
Here; here's five dollars to pay for the book. You may 
send me a copy. No doubt I shall find it useful. 

Dorothy {joyfully). Oh, thank you ; thank you ! I 
shall have it sent up this afternoon. {Handing him a memo- 
randum book.) Just put your name and address in this 
book, if you please. (He writes in book.) That's it. 
Thank you. You have been very good to me. Good- 
morning ! 

(Exit Dorothy.) 

Coke [looking after her). Well; of all things! Con- 
found these woman book-agents ! they \\ould weep a fellow 
out of his last cent. Oh, I shall never succeed* at the law ! 
I am too soft hearted. I am; yes, I am. Now, I have 
paid five good ilollars for something I do not want, and 
cannot use, just because she let loose the torrents of her sor- 



8 HIS FIRST CASE 

row. {Suddenly.) I'll bet that was just a trick on her part ! 
But then a fellow can't see a girl cry, you know ; it doesn't 

do. The only way to dam those tears was to buy 

(^Disgustedly.) "Asylums I Have Inhabited"! Now, 
wouldn't that give you the nightmare! "Asylums" — 
well, I think that I am a fit candidate for one, myself. The 
next book-agent who comes here shall find that I am out ; 
or, if I cannot escape in that manner, she shall find that I 
already possess the particular work and edition that she 
has to sell. And I'll have it, too; if only in my mind ! 
{Knocki?ig heard at door. Hurriedly silling at desk.) I 
wonder if that's another? Come in ! 

(^Enler Dorothy, disguised as a Salvation Army Lassie.) 

Dorothy. Is this Mr. Coke ? 

Coke. It is. 

Dorothy. I'm so glad. 

Coke {aside). So am I. {^To her.) Did you want to 
see me ? 

Dorothy. Of course. 

Coke. Why, of course ! How absurd a question ! 

Dorothy. Wasn't it ? 

Coke. Yes, it was. Won't you be seated ? 

Dorothy (^silling). Thank you. Now, Mr. Coke, your 
name has been given me by one of your friends, as a man 
charitably inclined. 

Coke (aside). Well, if I had that fellow here I would 
punch his head. 

Dorothy {continuing). And as a young lawyer, who is 
rapidly rising in his profession. 

Coke {aside). That's a good reputation to have circu- 
lated ; but all my friends know better than that. ( With 
determination.) Oh, he's a deep one ! Let me just get my 
hands on him I 

Dorothy. Therefore, I make bold to ask you for a 
small subscription in aid of our Home for Indigent Bums. 
It is a very worthy charity, designed to take care of tramps 
when they can no longer work at their profession. 

Coke. I have no interest in tramps. 

Dorothy. But you should have. Just put yourself in 
their place. 

Coke. That's just where I'll be, if people like you do 
not leave me in peace. 



HIS FIRST CASE q 

Dorothy. Why, Miss Ring told me that you would 
help me ! 

Coke {asfojiished). Miss Ring ? 

Dorothy. Yes. 

Coke. Was she the friend who told you about my inter- 
e t in tramps and such things ? 

Dorothy. Yes. 

Coke {aside, and with resig7iatio7i). I see the marriage 
day fading off into the dim distance. {To her.) Well, if 
Miss Ring was the one who sent you here, of course I shall 
be glad to help you. Here {ao^ain opeiiiiis^ pocketbook atid 
taking out note); take this. It is all I have, at present. 
Very glad to oblige, I'm sure. 

Dorothy. How generous ! Five dollars ! You have 
done a noble work, sir ; a noble work ! {Rising.) Good- 
morning. 

{Exit Dorothy.) 

Coke. That settles it ! That is the end ; the very end I 
The next woman who enters my office leaves it before she 
can state her business. I believe every woman in this con- 
founded building is, under one guise or another, seeking 
r harity. But no other need hope to find me willing to give 
faith to her story. That last bill was the last in very truth. 
(Puts hand in trousers pocket, and takes out a few small 
coins.) I have exactly twenty-five cents in change — all my 
available assets. Hardly enough with which to buy a 
decent lunch. Dorothy ! Dorothy ! Why did you get me 
into this scrape? {Some one knocks at the door. Coke 
evidently does not hear it. Continuing.) If you keep on 
at this rate, I shall never be able to ask you to marry me. 
{Knocking continues. Woman's voice heard, '^Anybody 
in?'') Now that's another woman. I'll not let her in. 
{Sits at a desk.) Keep at it. I'll not hear you. {Knocking 
continues. Writes. Knocking grows more vigorous. ) 
You'll get tired after a while. {Rising impatiently, and 
rushing to the door.) Confound you ! What do you 
{flinging it ope7i) want? {Perceives Dorothy without, in 
her 0W71 proper person. He is visibly embarrassed.) 
Why, Miss Ring, this is an unexpected pleasure ! 

Dorothy. It must have been, indeed. I am sure you 
kept me waiting long enough. 

Coke {embarrassed). My fault, entirely. 



10 HIS FIRST CASE 

Dorothy. Of course it was. 

Coke. Really, I cannot find words to express my regret. 

Dorothy. Are you sure you were not asleep? 

Coke. Positive. Never more wide-awake in my life. 

Dorothy. Then you heard my knocking? 

Coke. I was deeply absorbed in the intricacies of an 
important problem. 

Dorothy. How exciting ! 

Coke {thinking of his rush to the door). Yes ; yes. 
[Suddenly recollecting hitnself. Aside.) What am I sa}'- 
ing, anyhow? 

Dorothy. I was in the neighborhood, and thought I 
would stop in to see how you were fixed. 

Coke. Now, that was handsome of you ! 

Dorothy. I suppose you are very busy ? 

Coke. I have never worked harder than I have this 
morning. (^Aside.) Which is the gospel truth. 

Dorothy. Just look at all those books ! Do you have 
to study them all? 

Coke. They are mostly books of reference — reports and 
digests, chiefly. By the way — speaking of digests — it is 
about lunch time, I think. You will surely come out to 
lunch with me ? 

Dorothy. I shall be delighted. 

Coke. Where do you prefer to go ? 

Dorothy. I shall leave that entirely to you. 

Coke. Suppose we go Great Scott ! (Aside.) I 

entirely forgot that that confounded Salvation Army freak 
took my last note. 

Dorothy. Why, what's the trouble? Aren't you well ? 

Coke. Never felt worse in my life. 

Dorothy. Oh, dear ! What shall I do? I hope you 
are not going to faint. 

Coke. Never ! That is one bad habit I have never 
acquired. 

Dorothy. Let me run for the doctor. {Starts toward 
the door.) 

Coke {stopping her). Don't do that ! 

Dorothy. But, what is it ? 

Coke {aside). There's nothing left for me to do but to 
tell her. Now, isn't this awful? (To her.) I suppose. 
Miss Dorothy, there is no way out of the matter, but for me 
to make a clean breast of the whole affair. 



HIS FIRST CASE II 

Dorothy. I do not understand. 

Coke {with convicfioti). But you will though, before 
I've finished. I was so overcome with pleasure at your un- 
expected visit, that I completely forgot that I had spent 
practically all my money this morning. 

Dorothy. But how were you going to eat ? 

Coke. Fortunately, my bunco steerers left me some small 
change ; but not enough to buy a meal for two. {Pulling out 
small change.) That is all I have to tide me over Sunday. 
To-day being Saturday, the banks close at twelve o'clock, and 
it is now after that; so you see how awkward is my position. 

Dorothy. Tell me about it. 

Coke. Well, there was a book-agent, — one of those aw- 
fully plain girls, you know. No style about her, and weepy 
eyes. 

Dorothy. Indeed I 

Coke. • Yes. She came in and cried all over the carpet, 
until I bought her book. 

Dorothy. You should not have done it. 

Coke. I thoroughly agree with you. 

Dorothy. But why did you ? 

Coke. Because I was a fool, I suppose. 

Dorothy. And do you expect to make a living, or to 
keep a living you have once made, if you spend your money 
in that fashion ? 

Coke {weakly'). No. 

Dorothy. And on a plain girl with weepy eyes, — oh, 
dear ! 

Coke {warming up). Well, I'm not to blame for her 
plainness ! 

Dorothy {with heat). I didn't say you were. 

Coke {persistently). But she was plain — awfully plain, 
almost homely. 

Dorothy (/;/ anger). So you have said, several times. 
There is no need of this senseless repetition ; suppose you 
' hange the subject. 

Coke. Well, you wanted to hear about her. 

Dorothy {still vexed). I have heard about her — 
enough and to spare. 

Coke {blankly). Well, I tlon't see why you make so 
much fuss about it. 

Dorothy {recovering'- her temper). A\'as that all? 1 
believe you used tne plural, — ''bunco blcerers." 



12 HIS FIRST CASE 

Coke. No; worse luck, that was not all. There was 
another, — a freak from the Salvation-Army. 

Dorothy. A freak ! You must have had a very inter- 
esting time ! 

Coke. Oh, I had ! 

Dorothy. Was she, too, plain, — awfully plain, almost 
homely ? 

Coke. Well, her face was pushed so far back into her 
sunbonnet, that I really couldn't say. 

Dorothy. Why do you call her a freak ? I suppose 
you will be calling me a freak the next thing I know. 

Coke. Oh, impossible ! 

Dorothy. Yes, you will. 

Coke. Why, that would be horrible ! 

Dorothy {ig7iorwg his reply). Well, what did this 
freak do ? 

Coke (^ruefully). She did me to the extent of about all 
I had. 

Dorothy. And what excuse have you to offer? 

Coke. The very best in the world. 

Dorothy. And what is that? 

Coke. She said that you sent her. 

Dorothy (^pleased). Was that your reason for helping 
her ? 

Coke. Upon my honor, that was my sole reason. 

Dorothy. I suppose, under the circumstances, that I 
shall have to accept that excuse. Now that you have spent 
all your money, you must let me help you. 

Coke. Couldn't think of it. 

Dorothy. But you must. I am responsible for all this. 

Coke. You ? 

Dorothy. Yes. I was that book-agent. 

Coke {amazed'). The deuce you were ! 

Dorothy. And the Salvation Army lassie. 

Coke. You don't mean it I 

Dorothy {reproachfully). And you never knew me I 

Coke. What a thick-skulled chump I am, to be sure ! 

Dorothy. You are. And you are not at all comjjli- 
mentary. According to you, I am plain, — awfully plain, 
almost homely 



Coke. But, believe me, 1 

DoRt)'iHv. And a freak, inio the bargain. 
Coke. But how was I to know ? 



HIS FIRST CASE 



13 



Dorothy. And such shocking language ! Hot-cakes, 
you know. 

Coke. Well, I said hot-cakes. 

Dorothy. Yes ; but you nearly said — 

Coke. What ? 

Dorothy. Well, you know. 

Coke. I beg of you to forgive me. The book-agent was 
veiled and I could not see her face. If I had seen it, I 
should never have called it plain. 

Dorothy. Or awfully plain ? 

Coke. Nor awfully plain. 

Dorothy. Or almost homely ? 

Coke. Nor almost homely. 

Dorothy. Are you sure ? 

Coke. Positive. 

Dorothy. But the freak ? 

Coke. Well, I did not mean it. Will you forgive me? 

Dorothy. I shall try; and to prove my sincerity, I 
come this time with good news. 

Coke. Yes ? 

Dorothy. What would you say if I told you that I had 
secured for you the position of assistant solicitor for the 
Bluestone Steel Company? 

Coke. I would say what I have always thought — that 
you are the only angel this side of heaven. 

Dorothy. That's putting it pretty strong ; but we will 
dismiss all that as irrelevant, immaterial and impertinent — 
that is the phrase you lawyers use, isn't it? [He nods.) 
You know, father is a director in that company; and I 
have been requesting him for some time to give you a 
chance. 

Coke. That was awfully good of you. Miss Dorothy. 

Dorothy {ignoring the remark and going on with her 
story, as if no interruption had occurred). So, as soon as 
a vacancy occurred, he had you appointed to the place ; 
which pays its occupant three thousand a year. 

Coke {earnestly). And you bring me the news, yourself? 

Dorothy. Yes. 

Coke. Why ? 

Dorothy {confused). I don't know. I thought maybe 
you — might prefer to learn of it in that way. 

Coke {coming close to her). So I would, Miss Dorothy; 
so I would ; and I cannot thank you enough for what you 



14 HIS FIRST CASE 

have done. This gives me the right to say what has long 
been in my heart to tell you, but that poverty kept me 
silent. I love you. (^Putting his arm about her.) Do 
you think that you could be happy with me ? 

Dorothy (^dropping her head on Coke's shoulder with a 
little sigh). I am willing to try. 

{Silence for a while.) 

Coke. Why did you come here disguised ? 

Dorothy. I wanted to see what manner of man you 
were, when you did not have on your company manners. 

Coke. And you found me pretty cross and unkind. 

Dorothy {taking Coke by both hands and gazing into 
his eyes very earnestly). Yes ; just cross enough to help a 
poor girl whom you believed to be in distress ; and unkind 
enough to give money to a Salvation Army recruit because 
I recommended her to call on you. {Looking him over 
slowly.) On the whole, I think you'll do. 

Coke. I shall try my best. 



CURTAIN 



MAY 8 



1903 



VlAY 3 1902 

MAY 8 1902 




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